My new little experiment

So, in an effort to get things ready with my book and education week presentations, I am entering the 20th century and getting a web site.  Along with that web site, I am starting yet another blog... dedicated to the specific topics of food, mood, and motherhood.

I haven't launched anything official yet, but here are some of the first posts...

http://foodmoodmotherhood.blogspot.com/

Tender Mercies

Yes, you saw that right.
A street sweeper.
My Today Tender Mercy.

Let me explain...

A few days ago I was on my way home from an early morning workout, and it was still dark as I was driving up the hill to our house.  Suddenly, something jumped out in front of me, and before I could even react, I felt the stomach dropping thump-bump, thump-bump. Of the tires over some poor, unsuspecting animal.

As soon as Jerry woke up, my first words were, "Honey, I hit an animal!  I don't know if it was someone's sweet life-long pet cat, or some sweet baby bunnies' mother!  I don't know if it died, or is now maimed for life!"

Okay... now many of you are thinking how cheesy this is, but hey, it's me - and my middle name could just have easily been 'guilty'.  If there is something to feel guilty about - I will find it and relish it until a myriad of ulcers come to complete fruition :).

... and it didn't  help much that a few minutes after Jerry left for work, I received this picture via text:

with the caption, "The Easter Bunny!!"
... ummm, not really helping, honey!

so for the next few days, every time I drove down and up the hill, I was faced with the stark reminder of my mistake.
wondering if I should go out and scoop it up?
should I get some bunny food and go scour the woods for hungry little baby bunnies waiting for their mom to return with breakfast??
or just see it and feel guilty all over again.

... then it happened.
in the afternoon, I happened to be looking out my window, and saw a street sweeper emerge on top of the hill.
and just like that,
It was gone.
Clean.
Removed forever.

Again, I know super cheesy example, but for whatever reason I felt so incredibly grateful for street sweepers.
who swoop in and clean up my messes.
and make my driving path whole again.

Tender Mercies come in all shapes and sizes.
and today, mine came with a swooshing brush.

It's the little things...

That made me fall in love with this amazing man.

All of my life, I was waiting for the fan fair,

the fire works

the neon sign

that this was THE ONE.

And then I met Jerry...

... on my first Sunday home from my mission, to be exact.

He was my brothers roommate, and I went to church with my brother.

And sat in between my brother and Jerry

And about passed out with the fact that I was sitting within 'arms length' of an unrelated male.

Totally freaked me out

In fact, I think I about jumped into my brothers lap through the course of the Sacrament meeting.  (A fact that Jerry has since taunted me with...).

All of that was 3 years before we even thought about dating.

Yep, that right.  THREE YEARS.

We lived right across a little walkway from each other.  

Seriously, you could look out my window and look right into his window.

3 Years.

In fact, we sat in Early morning meetings together almost every Sunday.

... and I spent many of those meetings setting him up with all of the RS women who just had to go out with Jerry Brewer.

And then, suddenly, it happened.

... but then again, not so suddenly.

more like little by little it snuck up on me, until one morning (after being told the "L" word by him the previous night), I realized that Love had come.

I loved him all along.

And I hadn't even realized.

I had loved him from the beginning.

Only it was so simple and sweet that I almost missed it entirely (I could go into all sorts of sordid details about break-ups and freak-outs and such, but this post is long enough as it is!).  

I realized that it was the little things that one by one

Made this guy wholly and completely my knight in shining armor, without a shadow of doubt.

And I fell.

Hard.

Over my head, 100 percent, in complete unabashed loved with this man. (And then there was a little bit of freak out on his end... but again, a post for another day... )

Fast forward 11 Valentine's Days spent together, and 5 children added to the pack

And it's still the little things

That he does

Day in and day out

Most of which he probably doesn't even realize

(because they are such an ingrained part of him)

That keep me standing in awe of this man that I am lucky enough to call mine.

Yep, the little things...

-- like reading the bedtime story to the kids every night, and tucking them in

-- and taking each child on special daddy/child dates, and infuses service into each one (creates a special service project for them to do together, and then go to dinner of their choice, followed by a trip to toys R us for a 'special' present)

-- or even the way he is so meticulous in every facet of what he does...

     ... even down to specifically placing each and every stamp on our wedding announcements in the exact right spot on the envelop, completely straight and everything (something that I have kind of sort of mocked him for through the years... i mean, c'mon, who looks at the stamps on envelops that they get in the mail?  Well, if you looked at our wedding announcements, the stamps were perfect!  ... at least on jerry's pile...)

-- and the quiet way in which he simply does what needs to be done

    ... like turning the pancakes over when I get pre-occupied with something else in the kitchen while cooking breakfast

-- and stays up late making special Valentines cards for each of the kids so it's the first thing each child sees on Valentine's Day morning (we're talking designing, printing, and even laminated personal cards for each of them!)

-- and the way that he is so simply sentimental - and thinks of all of the tiny things that make my heart melt - all with no fan fare whatsoever on his part

   ... like the fact that during each pregnancy he wore the same tie to church every single week, and for the baby blessing, and then for the baptism, for each father's blessing, and then plans on giving the tie to each boy when they leave on their mission (how cool is that?!). 

   ... or the single rose that he gave me on our first anniversary with a card that simply said, "one rose for one year" (... and yes, we are now up to 11 roses ;) ).

   

... and the way that he is so rock solid in his goals. 

... he is a great finisher.     

(which is good for me, because I'm a great starter...)

Seriously, when he sets a goal, there is not a shadow of doubt that he will get the goal.  

... like reading the Book of Mormon in different languages, which I have seen him do every single day for the entire 11 years that we have been married.

... or when he decides he needs to keep a journal a few months after we got married, I haven't seen a Sunday go by that he hasn't written (which is so much more than I can say for my own sketchy record of keeping records...)

Yes, I am truly amazed by this man.  

By the little things.

Day in and day out.

That truly light up the fireworks, flash the neon signs, and play the fan fare in my life.

Thanks, honey,

for taking the family leap with me

Happy Valentine's Day.

Here's to Eternity!

Seeing R.E.D.

Since our kids daily scripture reading is a wee bit shy of stellar (read:  nonexistent!), I decided to blatantly copy an idea from one of the primaries that we visited in the stake:

We are officially declaring February our R.E.D.  Scripture Month:

Read

Every 

Day

We had our kickoff during family home evening last night, complete with letting the kids choose the reward at the end of the month if everyone gets all of their days filled in.

(They chose Chuck-E-Cheese... .sigh... I knew when it opened here last month that it was only a matter of time before they wore us down enough to get us there...)

We even had some red(ish) treats to help usher in our Fabulous February

Okay, so these weren't quite as elaborate as our last years Valentine's Day treat...

but c'mon, those things took forever... and then they were gone in 2 minutes flat!  At least with rice krispie treats, the proportion of making to eating is a bit more homogenous :)


Here's to a Fabulous February (and GOODBYE January!!!)

The Party's over...

my personal pity party, that is.
Enough.
I'm done.
It takes too much effort to be depressed, and I'm just too lazy to go on any longer.

So today starts operation:  GUT THE HOUSE!!
(It always sounds better with a fun title)

Projects:
-- Clear out Pantry
-- Weed out office
-- Transform basement library/storage/'just put the box here until we find something to do with it' room that now houses all of our 'junk' that we haven't found use for yet (seriously, if we haven't used it in almost a year... I think the next stop for it is Goodwill!), and turn it into the craft/sewing nook (maybe I will actually unpack my sewing machine that I got brand new last January... that has yet to see the light of day!)
-- Organize Storage room and make it into a real live food storage room (so my 36 boxes of brownies are not scattered hap-hazardly around the room.  and yes, there are 36 boxes of brownies.  We will not be wanting for chocolate in the famine, that's for sure!)
-- Find a home for everything, complete with labels and everything
-- Clear out a 'prepare for Education Week' nook to prepare my nine presentations for BYU-I education week.

Wish me luck.
If you don't hear back from me, you will find me buried somewhere in the catacombs of clutter.

Juggling...

... has never been something that I have been good at.
I have been amazed when I can see people juggling all sorts of crazy objects, all with a huge smile, and all without breaking a sweat.
Amazing.

Lately, however, I have been feeling like everywhere I turn, I have been picking up more things than I can hold, and have therefore resorted to juggling to try to keep them all afloat.

Like my house:
I would post pictures... but it's just plain embarrassing.
I don't think there's a single area that is actually clean and organized.
I keep thinking that deep down inside me there is a meticulously organized, minimalist person...
but right now she's buried underneath loads of clutter.

And not very good and juggling.

And then the kids
I know in some circles 5 kiddos is just getting started.
But in my circle, it's all I can do to keep up with them...
Keeping then fed and clothed is an added bonus.
When I actually get them to different destinations on time, it's a hallelujah moment.

Juggling gets a bit more comical when all 5 personalities come shining through...

like when we sign up 3 kids for ski lessons,
and my 5 year old (who really is amazonian-like in largeness) decides to turn into a spaghetti noodle, slipping through my arms multiple times as he whines 'I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go...' about 5 minutes after I had explained to the instructor that he was the best one out of the 3...

Or when I'm dragging all 5 kiddos out of bed to make it across town to 7 AM violin lessons.
Really?!  Where was my brain when that scheduling idea came through my juggling arms.
(Is it bad that I almost started crying with joy when the teacher cancelled all lessons this week??)


Then there's my book...
I know I know, I've talked about it so much, you're sick of hearing about it.
Each day as the sands of time slip through my fingers, I vow to plow through the last bits of it when the kids go down.
and then something happens when the kids go down...
My brain suddenly melts into mush,
My Body suddenly reminds me how much I have tormented it at the gym,
And I generally turn into a zombie, not really able to juggle anything else besides the TV remote.

Or the invention...
Yea, that's still in the juggling mix right now also.
Although I'm barely hanging on to that one by my fingernails...
Plugging away... at about a snails pace on that one.

Just enough to keep it in the juggling arena... and on my guilty conscience.

Not to even mention the additives, like friendships and relationships, calling stewardships... and all other types of -ships.

Those, well, have pretty much been getting all mangled in the juggle.

Sorry if you are one of those and have been feeling a bit - neglected- lately.  It's not that I don't think about you and want to revive the -ships...
Right now I just plain don't have enough arms to keep everything afloat.

And I think we have established the fact that I don't really know how to juggle.

So, please forgive me as I set down the juggling pins and just hibernate for a while and dig out of the avalanche of 'stuff' that has suddenly collapsed all around me.

... and maybe sign up for some juggling lessons

My kitchen counter...

pretty much describes my life right now...
everything kind of crazy
mixed up
disorderly
and all meshed together
a bunch of things, all having relevance and a place to be,
but nothing actually in it's place, and creating general
havoc in life.

And so goes my life lately...
everything kind of crazy
mixed up
disorderly
and all meshed together
I have a bunch of things on my plate, and everything that I have chosen to include in my life right now has direct relevance,
but I can't seem to find a specific place in time to accomplish everything I would like in an orderly manner,
and it's creating general havoc in my world.
Crazy.
... and I only seem to be moving at half speed to get it all in order.


It could be that I am still trying to re-enter real life after living in our car throughout the whole holiday season

and criss crossing the country to surprise various relatives

and having not one,

but two Christmases :)

 (at least a few of us got in some naps along the way...)

 and teaching not 2,

but four kiddos how to ski

(... which could not have been even half accomplished without the HUGE help of the Fisher Clan...  Again, THANK YOU so much for giving up your ski days to help our kiddos
climb out of tree banks,
stop tormenting each other on the lift,
re-snapping their ski boots after each fall
picking up the face-planted bodies
and generally taking on the monumental task of introducing a bunch of newbies to the ski hill!)



Having a ton of fun on the sledding hill

 
(and bribing Joshy into leaving early with me, even after his much protesting "I JUST WANT TO GO SLEDDING!")

 and then spending way...

way...

 WAY too many hours in the car on the way home...

Don't get me wrong, the trip was amazing - and SO worth it!!

I'm just having a few re-entry issues...

 at least that's what I'm blaming it on this week.

or maybe I can eek that excuse out for the rest of the month...

The Law of Natural Consequences...

... are beautiful when it helps to teach the children a lesson...

... like this morning, for instance, when I sent the boys up to shower

     (after Seth whined about having to take once, since 'we took one yesterday!')

... and they asked if they could take a tubo tub

... and I relented (something I would live to regret)

... and as I sat emailing friends trying to work out a babysitting swap to volunteer in the kids classrooms

     (see?!  that's what I get for trying to volunteer!)

... Sarah brought down Elizabeth, who was sopping from head to toe in her pj's after just walking by the bathroom

... apparently from the 'tidal wave' that was coming from the bathtub of the boys...

... and I walked up to find not simply a turbo tub... but a whole bathroom sized swimming pool

   (are you feeling a little de ja vou-ish about now... wasn't my last post about something to do with waters and bathrooms??!!)

... instead of ranting and raving, this time I simply had the boys get towels and clean up their own mess, every nook and cranny of their mess

    (okay, so I still ranted and raved a smidge while they were cleaning up their own mess... )

... but that's not the law that really sunk in with Seth.

... nope, the beauty of it came back in the way that because of the extra clean up time, we were late getting to school    (okay, true confession, I took my time a wee bit getting the little ones ready to make sure that we would be a little late, just to drive home the lesson... hey, I never said the law of natural consequences couldn't use a little help every now and then!!)

... and this child HATES to be late, especially to school. 

... as in, he would rather stay in the car and hide all day then have to walk in late to school 

   (... those of you know know me, know for sure that this trait came straight from his dad!!!)

So as we pulled up late to school, I simply said, "well, the extra clean up time made us late for school... I guess you'll think twice about making such a big mess in the tub next time."

   

Judging from the look of horror on his face as he made the walk of shame to the school door, I think for once he maybe kinda sorta learned the lesson :).

Child mess: a little inconvenient  

Motherhood moment of triumph: priceless!

My ensign moment...

All through my mission, when I would read the things that ubber creative moms did with their families, I would pull out the pages of their stories and began painting this utopia picture of my future husband and myself surrounded by our little perfectly-dressed-not-a-hair-out-of-place children as the Heavenly Angels sang in the background and we participated in all of the cutesy little enriching family activities.

... Fast forward 5 kids and 8 years of still trying to get my footing in the whole family/home/church/social/work/cooking/cleaning/teaching/crying/laughing/and just plain surviving...

... and, well, those 'ensign' moments kinds of flew by the wayside. 

This year, I finally decided to take a little step and in the spirit of Thanksgiving, we had a Family Home Evening Lesson on being thankful, and started a thankful jar:

... along with 100 strips of paper that we get to write what we are thankful for each day, with a goal to fill in all 100 strips before thanksgiving.  (with a reward of a family outing once all 100 are filled...c'mon you know that I'm not above a little bribery :)  ).

... and I did have to laugh at the way that the kiddos dove right in... thankful for everything from family, to Santa, to  the TV...  

  I realize that for most of you, this is old news and you probably have huge elaborate activities that you do with your kiddos, but just this once, give me my ensign moment... a little late in the making, but here nonetheless :).

Hand-me-down mommy

I recently dug this fun sweatshirt out of our hand-me-down box...

For it's newest owner, Joshua.  As I was rolling the sleeves up to fit his still-too-tiny-arms and assuring him that it would be fine, "you'll grow into it" and then watched how he looked at it in awe and told me about all of the parts of the firetruck (that he had learned from his two older fire-truck-loving brothers), I couldn't help but think about something else that has been brewing in my mind for the past little while...

**Waring, random ramblings about to erupt... feel free to exit the blog at any time... :)**

There, consider yourself warned...

I have been thinking lately, ya know, in all of my 8 years of mommy-hood experience ;), that I can feel myself slowly 'growing into' the mommy role.  

-- I find myself more content with little things.

-- Less flustered over the bazzilion schedule changes during the course of a 24 hour day.

-- Less likely to be mortified at the site of some of the outfit choices of the kiddos (and even secretly glad that they chose a certain outfit *insert purple wizard costume* and that they don't really care about molding to the general regular-clothes-wearing population)

-- Not quite so anal about scheduling every minute of every day

-- Able to choose my battles a bit more (or less, as the case may be)

-- And in general just loving being around my children.

Are things perfect?  Not by a long shot.  But they are better.  Not because the kids have changed, but because I find myself changing... morphing... molding... into this thing called "Mommy".  More importantly, I find myself loving the role, and finding the fit to be bit by bit more comfortable as the years go by.

As I have thought about this little inner discovery, I started to think back to how I have come to be where I am now on the mommyhood journey, and where I have learned the many (unpublished) mommyhood lessons from the (undocumented) mommyhood manual.  

And I have realized that I am, in fact, a hand-me-down mommy.  

So many lessons that I have applied, and am now trying to apply in my little mommyhood universe have been taught to me by so many incredible mothers that I have been surrounded by my entire life.  So many of you out there have handed me down so many mothering moments, and I thank you for that.  There have been so many of you that have helped me on my path to mommyhood (and continue to help me on my path) that I don't even know how to begin to thank you all and let you know some of the gratitude that I feel for the teeny-tiny lessons that you have taught me.

A few that for some reason have been hitting me a little harder lately come from those of you in my own family.

... *Warning, cheese factor about to get turned up a notch... go on at your own risk!*

I have, hands down, the most incredible examples of womanhood and motherhood in my immediate family.  I am the youngest of 7 kids, with 2 older sisters and 4 older sister-in-laws (Chelle - you count as older because you just morphed into Brians age category when you got married!). Plus a mother in law, and two more incredible sister-in-laws on my hubby's side.

We are one of those cheesy families who actually like getting together.  A lot.  

And when we get together.  I watch.  and I learn.

First of all, my mom.  

What can I say about her?  She is the epitome of motherhood.  

There is not a day that goes by where I find myself thinking, 'what would my mom do?'  I think it's safe to say that her kids are her life, and she did so many thousands of tiny things day in and day out to make our lives wonderful - things that at the time I had no idea how inconvenient it was for her.  She just did them because, well, she was the mom. 

   Like the time I moved suddenly from dorm room living to apartment living, and called her crying because I was having a hard time adjusting, and within 24 hours she was knocking on the door with a box full of pots and pans to help in my transition.  

   Or the countless games of various sports that I could look up and see her being my #1 cheerleader in the stand.  Home.  Away.  Hot.  Cold.  Early.  Late.  She was there.  (I have to admit, this thought was about the only thing that kept me in my chair on the sidelines of my own child's first freezing cold soccer game cheering away...).  I think deep down, she doesn't even really like sports (though she would never admit it openly to our sports-obsessed family!).  That act alone has built at least one floor in her mansion in heaven, I'm sure of it!

And then my sisters.  The best.  Ever.  (Well, I can say that now that I am no longer subjected to 'prickly pear cactus legs' or the pinch of death, or forced to sleep on the 'dracula' side of the bed!)

Each of my sisters is an absolutely amazing mother.  Seriously.  As in, the type that when I visit, I take a step back at each of their houses and think, "when I grow up, I want to be a mom like that!"  (and then I remember, oh no, I'm already a mom!  I'm already behind!)

Janie - I won't even talk about the fact that I'm a wee bit jealous that you could give birth to 7 children (yes, that's right, folks, SEVEN), and still be the skinniest one of the bunch!  But I also stand in complete awe at your ability to organize all of the children, serve as Relief Society President, And run a bazzilion ballroom programs, simultaneously.  I get dizzy just thinking about that schedule!

  -- with all of your many accomplishments, however, I do have to say one of the absolute most impressive to me is when I get to visit and see the day to day interaction of the kids.  These kids (remember the SEVEN kids?!).  All get along (and the majority of them are in the thick of the pre-teen to young adult age span - yes, the age span where most siblings hate each other).  Not only do they get along, but they genuinely like and care for one another.  

 -- case in point:  this last visit, I got the chance to stay up into the wee hours of the morning talking to a couple of the kids - ages 19 and 16.  I loved talking to them, but more importantly, I loved watching how they would talk with one another.  As we discussed different boys and girls, they would tell each other, "oh, I don't like him for you"  or "yes, you should go out with her, she's great."  Or even, "No, you shouldn't go out with her, she's mean to me"... and he would truly listen to her and take the insight to heart.  Amazing!

 -- to me, that speaks volumes to mommyhood - and that is one hand-me-down that I would love to grow into as my kids reach those points in life.

And then there is Julie...  the family firecracker.  (Seriously folks, if you have a party and she's not on the guest list, you may as well just cancel the party!  She's awesome!)  Just being around her makes me smile.  I secretly stock her blog just to copy some of the incredibly cute things that she does with her kiddos and make-believe that I am as creative and talented as she is :).  (C'mon, anyone who would orchestrate her husband into making real-not-cheap-plasticky bows and arrows as party gifts for their son's 'robin hood' birthday party is up there for mother (and father!) of the year award!).

... but the thing that impresses me the most is hard to put into words.  Julie is the essence of motherhood. Whenever I see her with her kids, I have the thought, "wow, I want to be a mom like that."  You can tell that she truly lives motherhood as she puts her kids needs above anything else in life and is really there for her kids, both physically, but also mentally and emotionally. 

Case in point:  Julie is a phenomenal ballroom dancer (as in touring the world in college type of dancer!).  She gave that all up in the pursuit of mommyhood.  When her oldest got into elementary school, she started a childrens ballroom program.  Not for her own benefit, or to further her own ballroom career, but to have a team for her daughter to learn the skills that she loves so much.
But that case in point doesn't even truly describe what I'm trying to explain - she just oozes motherly love, from being there at every moment that her kids need her physically, to giving her kids the comforts of life, not only temporal, but also emotional,  even at her own sacrifice in so many ways.

That is a hand-me-down that I am trying to do more of... invest not in just physically being a mom, but capturing the essence and spirit of mommyhood.

There are so many more examples I could give - from sister-in-laws, to dear friends, to casual acquaintances, of little lessons in mommyhood that have helped me to grow into this role that hopefully someday, will fit me just perfectly.  

For now, I will continue to mold and morph, roll up the sleeves when they get a bit too long

And continue to watch and learn and grow

from all of you.

Thank you so much for your hand-me-down ways of mommyhood :)

Ta Da!!!

If any of you have had any type of conversation with me in the past couple of years, you know I have a huge thing about giving people "Ta Da's"  (If you have no idea what I'm talking about, give me a call, it's obviously been too long since we have last talked!... or just tell me to explain myself and I'll write a whole post about it... yes, I feel that strongly about the Ta Da factor!)

... anyway, when Ben came home from his 3rd day of school with his first art project and walked around with me to find the 'perfect spot' to hang it up, I thought, "He needs his Ta Da moment"  

... and as we were walking around, I suddenly noticed how barren this wall looked:

 ... and how much it was just screaming for a little spice in life.
... and then I thought, "hey how about a Ta Da WALL??!  (with 5 kids, we've got to think global here, folks... no piddly pin up board is going to hold all of the masterpieces that grace the threshold of our household!)

... So after a bit of research, and a great big deep breath, I dove in and started...

and quickly got a little scared to see the BLACK magnetic paint all over our once beautifully neutral walls, and suddenly panicked, thinking this may be one of my (many*ahem*) hair brained schemes that looks a lot better in my brain than it does in real life...

... but we forged ahead... through all the layers, spills, and smells...

to give birth to the "Official Ta Da" dwelling in our home.

... so if any of you are needing a little recognition, pat on the back, or any other form of Ta Da... send it here... we'll put it up in your honor :)

You would think

that our kids have never seen this stuff before...

because early this morning we woke up to shouts of glee as the kids bursted into the room

saying "it's white all over the ground, mom!"  

and quickly got on some snow gear and headed outside to play

... which only lasted a few minutes, as the sun quickly burned off the early frost...

(much to moms relief... who is so not ready for another long stint of being buried in this...

Long live green grass and family bike rides!!

When Friends give you apples...

Lots and lots of apples :)

(gotta love a fun apple picking day with the kiddos...

... gotta love it even more when it's FREE!)

... You make applesauce...

Lots...

... and lots of applesauce.

ahh, I love the smells of fall canning season ;)

(except the canning of beans...

... yea, that one stinks pretty bad...

... it's worth it, but it does stink.)

Back Then...

Ya know, back in the Olden Days...
... like when I was on my mission
... a whopping 16 years ago...

I have now reached the age of 'stone age' living in my child's eyes.
Here was the line pulled from our dinner conversation last night as we were telling mission stories to the kids...
Seth, "Mom, back then, there was no electricity, right?!"
Me:  Completely dumbfounded as I turn to my hubby, who is about to fall off his chair from laughter...
"I just got 'Back Then-ed'!!!"
Hubby:  Still rolling with laughter... until I remind him that his back then was even backer-thenner then my back then!

... and I was instantly transformed to a moment in time from my childhood, when upon my mom telling me about some things from her childhood, I asked, "Mom, back in the olden days, did you feel bad that you were living in the olden days?"

 I have now officially eaten my words.
... and they taste... well... pretty old.

This weeks calgon moment brought to you by...

... shirts, which were (unsuccessfully) flushed down the toilet (by a certain unnamed recently turned 3 year old...)
... plunger which (unsuccessfully) tried to get shirt to go down the toilet (manned by a certain unnamed recently turned 3 year old...)
... children, who upon screams of orders from mom to run and gather up towels, return with, "this is all we found, mom..." and hand over a couple of wash cloths
... towels, which (unsuccessfully) tried to mop up overflow from toilet before great gushes of water made its way down the crack in the doorway and seep into basement fire-alarm hole
... basement fire alarm, which upon getting wet, sets off ear-splitting shriek
... rest of house alarms, which like to play follow the leader and also set off ear splitting shrieks
... battery, which even though fire alarm has been yanked out of socked, still continues to power fire alarm-wetted shriek
... baby, who wants in on the action and crawls right into the scene

... and a mom who was frazzled already from a day of:

... up at crack of dawn to willingly submit to torture class (aka, cable class at the gym)
... loading all kids up on Joshy's maiden voyage out of the house in "big boy underwear"
... get to the gym, have joshy go potty (for which he gets buck naked. every time.)
... prepare for nutrition consult with someone who wants a 2 week menu of a diet that fits the following parameters:
 -- no white flour
 -- no sugar of any kind
 -- no sweets or junk food of any kind
    (the first and last I can handle, but absolutely no sugar??!  You try to find some recipes to meet that criteria for 2 weeks!)
... sit through 1/2 hour consult, which stretches into 1 hr and 15 minute consult
... return to kids gym and find that Joshy has again missed the potty mark
... reload clothes
... grab kids and run to friends for peach canning party (sorry we were late, Sarah!)
... got to friends house to realize that Joshy had yet again missed the potty mark (what, a whole 5 minutes in the car?!  Now that is some sort of talent!)
...taught friend mom's secret recipe for super yummy canned peaches with extra thick syrup (yes, it entails a LOT of sugar!!  ... and you wonder why I had a hard time finding sugar-less recipes??!)
... forgot to take over some supplies
... run back home, get supplies
... back to friends at 1:55, remember that I have to be across town to visit teach at 2:00.
... load up kids, run across town
... arrive late, stay late for the visit, (probably from spending time corralling all five kids and repeating, no you cannot lock her son out of his own room!) (Kalee, aren't you so excited for next months visit??!)
... staying late for first visit makes us late for the next visit
... spend most of next visit trying to keep Elizabeth from clutching the life out of their sweet dog and talk over her teridactal screams


So, if anybody needs me, I'll be
in the corner
in fetal position
rocking back and forth
mumbling incoherently...

Who pushed fast forward??

For some reason, this summer zoomed by more quickly then most

Remember my big post about white space??  

Well, I found it.

I found it in a lack of ANY scheduled activity for the kiddos 

(except for one swimming lesson session, which about killed us after so much fun-unstructured time)

I found it in mornings spent lounging around the house reading books and playing games

I found it in crazy swimming pool afternoons

I found it in listening to the squeals and giggle from the yard as the sprinklers found their targets

I found it in late night family movies, complete with popcorn and snuggling

I found it in mini-getaways to the dells, parks, and libraries.

This summer was like one big Ahhhh.

And now, we are on our way back to the books

Back to the schedules

Back to early bed times

And early violin lessons

And crazy drop off and pick up routines

And homework assignments

And test stress-studying

And new friend finding...

But we did get to take one last moment,

thanks to super-uber talented friend (that would be YOU, Jolene!)

To relish in the final mix of summer and school...

Yes, she did lug this fun desk out into the beautiful green field

 to get some back to school shots of the kiddos.

And when I got the disk, I almost had to do a double take at how old my little ones have become.

... Where was I when they suddenly zoomed from toddling twos

to fun fashionistas??

Seriously, folks, who stole my little boy Ben...

... and replaced him with this suddenly too-grown-up-look-alike??

Joshy has been doing the pre-school-potty chant for a month now...

as in, "I want to go to preschool, so I go potty in my potty!"
... yes, this mama has resorted to threats ("Joshy, if you want to go to school like a big boy, you HAVE to go pee in the potty!!"), and treats (hey, in this household, three treats before breakfast is a GOOD thing... it means less mess for mom to clean up in places other than the toilet!)

And little Lizzy?...

... well, at the rate she's going, I wouldn't be surprised to see her follow 

the kiddos right into their classrooms come the first day of school!

As they gear up for the fun adventure of a brand new school year, I find myself already choked up a wee bit at the prospect of seeing this barrage of backpacks work its way out of our front door.

... so c'mon, fess up... which one of you ordered the super speedy summer to go this year??!

Melt my heart moments...

Most of the posts about Joshy usually contain some sort of picture like this...

... or like this 

But every single morning, I get to look at the top of the stairs and see this...

... and when he sees me, his face turns to this...

... and joshy then makes his grand entrance into the day.

... and a little bit deeper into my heart.

Love this little guy!!

(... even when I wish he had come with his own personal maid service... :) ).

On your Mark...

... since moving into the new house,
... which has barely beige walls,
... painted in flat paint
... I have had many opportunities to clean these...



(okay, quite honestly, the only times I have really cleaned them are times when company is coming, and I suddenly look around and see all of the little 'handy' work of the kiddos on the walls)

... and I oftentimes chant to myself something my mom has told me before, "you will miss this when they are all gone... you will miss this when they are all gone..."


On one particular wall-wiping occasion, which took a bit longer than usual, thanks in part to our lovely Joshy, who by the looks of the walls was afraid he would forget how to find his way back up from the basement, so made himself a little chocolate hand trail to follow... I started thinking about 'leaving your mark on the world' and began a thought process that I will attempt to recreate here...

WARNING:  kind of weird, deep-thoughtish-not-completely-put-together thoughts coming through...
There.  Consider yourself warned...

I started thinking about the role of motherhood (which started out with something like, "really?  REALLY?!  Will I REALLY miss this when they are all gone?!)...

And I started thinking about how in today's society the actual role of mother is so knocked down.  Sure, people give it the 'lip service'  like saying, 'oh, motherhood is the hardest job of all'... or, 'every mother is a working woman'...

But, unless one has truly been in the trenches, day in and day out, reorganizing your schedule for the 97th time because you suddenly find yourself cleaning the completely dumped out bottle of sunscreen all over the floor, or fabric softener filling your purse, or get all the kids loaded into the car only to find the last one has had a major diaper blow-out, I don't think those lip service phrases mean anything.   There really is no way you can describe the role of a mother with any cliche or catchy phrase.

Mother hood is...
... simply indescribable.

In both good and bad ways.  It's tough.  It's awesome.  It's sweet.  It's stinky.  It's fun.  It's depressing.  It's enchanting.  It's lonely.  It's pretty much every emotion, every day, every minute showing one extreme change with some sort of emergency or fire to stamp out in some aspect.

... and then there are the moments of 'ahhh' when you can find an eye of the storm to just sit and be.
... but then you feel too guilty for simply be-ing.
... so you get up and get busy doing something
... because, c'mon, at the end of the day, you have to have something to show for all of your work.
... and dishes don't seem to count, you did those yesterday.
... and laundry, also a ditto from yesterday (although you would never know it as clothes have come from nowhere to build a replica of mt. everest in the laundry room).
... and vacuuming, well, you did it this morning, but no one could possibly tell because not one single vacuum line remains in tact.
... and the glistening toilets just hours before are now smoldering pots of sewage left by recently potty-trained-yet-not-expert-aiming users.
... and all the poopy diapers you changed during the day... well, those are just better left in the garbage.

... so what exactly is it that you have to show that you have actually made your mark on the world?

... I am so not an expert in this arena by any means, nor do I propose to have all of the answers.

... but in this particular moment of time (of wiping down Joshy's chocolate trail home), somehow, somewhere, I found great satisfaction in knowing that I was (hopefully) making my mark in the hearts of 5 little souls that Heavenly Father has gingerly placed in my care.  Though I couldn't put any tangible name to the mark, I became acutely aware of just how important the 'Mother's Mark' is on the heart of every child who enters this world.
... I have felt my own mother's mark every moment of every day, in ways that I'm sure she will never be aware of.  Tiny things that as I look back on my own little lessons in life that I learned at her side, and that I now call back upon as I go through my own moments of wondering what in the world I should do at this particular juncture and can easily answer with a simple question, "what did my mom do in this type of situation?"
... more often then not, the answer is, "she always, always put the needs of her children first, made sure they were comfortable, fed, clothed, kissed, hugged, changed, etc etc before she took one thought for her own comfort or her 'alone' time"
... that is a mark that can never be erased in the soul of a child who learned the love of a Heavenly Father through the role of a mother.
... that is a mark that I will work everyday to re-create in the hearts of my own children
... will I be able to create the 'mother's mark' in my own children?
... I may never know in this lifetime...
... but one thing I do know - they have left marks in my heart that will last much, much longer than a chocolate handprint on the wall.

... and yes, I think I will miss those tiny prints guiding my kids back from their basement adventures once their adventures lead them outside the walls of my home and the grasp of my arms.
... so for now, I will be content to wipe off the wall marks, and try to etch in my own marks on their tiny precious hearts.

The End.

When life gives you zucchini...

You make super yummy zucchini bread!!

Since our garden was non-existent this year, and our poor tomatoes that we tried to grow on the porch still look like mini granny apples, I thought our plentiful produce dining would be also non-existent.

Enter sweet friend, who also happens to be ultra green thumb, and our counters are suddenly overflowing with zany zucchini, sweet squash, and cool cucumbers.

And when I see zucchini, I pretty much turn into pavlovs salivating dog as I think about scrumptious zucchini bread fresh from the oven.

The dietitian in me always cringes at the sight of the recipe of such scrumptious bread, which usually includes about a bottle of oil and a carton of eggs...

So, after researching a few recipes and experimenting with many mushy/soggy/too-dry/too-wet/too-heavy/too-light versions...

I proudly present the yummy-not-kill-your-arteries-version of yummy zucchini bread:

2 cups whole wheat pastry flour (or white flour, or 1/2 whole wheat and 1/2 white... you get the picture)
3/4 tsp baking soda
3/4 tsp baking powder
3/4 or 1 tsp salt
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/8 -1/4 tsp all spice
1 cup sugar
1 egg plus enough milk to make 3/4 cup
1 1/2 cup grated zucchini
1 tsp lemon extract (optional - can use vanilla here)

1.  preheat oven to 350 degrees spray one loaf pan (or 4 mini loaf pans - my preference...)
2.  Mix milk, egg, and sugar together for 7-10 minutes, add zucchini and lemon extract (or vanilla), mix.
3.  mix dry ingredients all together in separate bowl, then add and mix just until blended
4.  Pour into loaf pan(s) and bake 1 hour for regular loaf pan or 25-30 minutes for mini loaf pans
5.  Take out, flip onto cooling rack, wait as long as you can stand (hopefully cool enough so it doesn't burn your mouth), and dig in!!

A whole lotta nothin...

... well, let me rephrase that...

a whole lotta:

summer playin

pool goin

bbqin

sprinkler-tramp jumpin

flower waterin

fun frolickin

kids gym playin

summer squealin

friends play datin

impromptu picnickin

silly gigglin

sleepin innin
rain dancin
late night movie watchin

pajama dayin

rice crispy treat makin

chocolate overloadin

ice cream truck chasin

ice cream sandwich gobblin

fireworks festin

road trip takin

gramma and grampa visitin

wood projects buildin

... but nothing on the schedulin summer!


... and I'm lovin it!!!