Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Just another *gray* day in paradise...

please, someone, remind me why we live here??

I have been feeling very 'melan cally' (to quote my latest favorite cartoon, Mastermind) lately.

As in, pretty unmotivated to do much of anything.
Okay, REALLY unmotivated to do much of anything.

... except each chocolate.
Lots and lots of chocolate.

And then write in my book about how not to eat lots and lots of chocolate...

And drive through the sandy/muddy-colored-snow filled streets
and try to envision that there really is some semblance of green buried somewhere underneath the 3 feet of snow on our lawn.

And walk outside only to have my lungs burn and nostrils freeze together and feel my baby's whole body go rigid and her tears freeze.

And try to get creative with the kids and do a Valentines Day craft...
... which bombed...
Really.
They looked NOTHING like the magazine picture!
... including the happy smiling child - I guess that's why they only had one child working in the picture... trying to do it with 5 became a battle of "she took my spot!"  "He just shoved me!"  "Hey, I wanted that piece of yarn!" "eewww, this is too goopy! mom, you do it!"
(at least I tried??!)

And having the spewing forth of germs make their rounds again and again through the family.
(I don't think I can change one more 'spewy' diaper (and clothes, and blankets) without losing it, folks!)

I am really, really, REALLY, missing my family right now.
I miss fun weekend trips
And late night talks
And laughing so hard our cheeks hurt
And introducing new 'legendary' stories that make me laugh just by thinking about them
   (thop waffing at me, I'm sthill weely mad at woo!... Honk, bonk, and toot... oh the list goes on!)
And just plain being surrounded by people that know me in and out
And still love me anyway.
... even when they send us off with the ROOSTER!!
    (we really did almost turn around when we found it!!)

Is it bad that I am just plain sick of trying to make new friends in this revolving door city,
especially when I know so many will be leaving so quickly

And we'll still be here, chipping away at the snow and ice
And spending every cent of extra money on trips back home to see family...
and actually making that happen usually takes planning of epic proportions (and months of advanced vacation day-counting-and-submitting-for-approval groveling)

Nope, I'm not bitter.
not bitter at all.
Just a wee bit chilly
And a wee bit melan cally

but other than that..

It's just another gray day in paradise :)

7 comments:

Deanna said...

I hear ya! So sorry that things are feeling "gray" lately. You always have such a full plate, that I just think you're amazing for being such a superwoman all of the time.

I think it's definitely a lot harder to keep befriending people that are going to leave once you become "permanent". I worry about that - we've spent so long being the ones who come to stay for only a handful of years, that I worry how I will feel when that is over.

I hope some sunny paradisical days head your way!!!

mnjacksons said...

Mayo three to five year plan? then Utah Utah Utah! my vote. He he
love you Jen

Robin Conner said...

I feel your pain. This winter has been rough. I'm so over the cold and gray. And we aren't even buried in snow/ice/yuck land either like you. Can't wait for the sun to come through and make me sweat! Hang in there mamma. Spring is around the corner and hopefully more family trips for you!

Mary Jane said...

This too shall pass...but in the meantime, get some really Vit. D and take it faithfully! I've been doing that and so far this winter I've been feeling pretty okay. I also haven't taken my Christmas tree down and I think that has helped! :)

Walt and Eileen said...

We love you and miss you. But we know you'll make lemonade out of the frozen lemons.
And now that your BIG NEWS has come from BYU-Idaho.
Hey, everyone, ask Jen what she's going to be doing on July 28-29-30, 2011 at BYU Idaho in Rexburg, Idaho.l
Love, Mom

Walt and Eileen said...

We love you and miss you. But we know you'll make lemonade out of the frozen lemons.
And now that your BIG NEWS has come from BYU-Idaho.
Hey, everyone, ask Jen what she's going to be doing on July 28-29-30, 2011 at BYU Idaho in Rexburg, Idaho.l
Love, Mom

Hanne said...

I am sorry you are having a rough time Jen, and at the same time I am SO glad you guys are here in MN! I have loved getting to know you and hope that as we stick around you guys will too! I can't imagine my work weeks without the Brewers! That is, if we ever stay well enough to make it through a week at work!
Let me know if you need a break to write (or sleep!). I would be more than happy to take your kids while you take a break!