Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How to stage the prefect break in:

Step 1: As you are busily packing to leave for a trip,  let your 22 month old dump cards and files all over the office floor, and say to yourself, "I'll just deal with that when we get home (after all, who is going to see it while we are gone?!)..."

Step 2:
Have a computer desk inside the previously shown 'ransacked' office, with a space for a computer, but housing no computer...
Step 3:  Ask your sweet, kind neighbor (who has dealt with numerous crazy issues relating to your house and dog on previous trips, but who is just nice enough to still help you out...) to take your mail inside your house each day.  Go so far as to hand her your keys on your way out of town.  Then, on your last frantic trips inside the house for those "oh yea, we need this..." moments, forget to actually close the front door... and then leave for 5 days...

So that when the aforementioned sweet, kind neighbor comes to your house the next day and to dutifully bring in the mail, she will open the screen door and come face to face with this...
... who will then run back to her own house, call you, who advises her to call the police, who bring in their FOUR squad cars, complete with mammoth officer holding giant canine to investigate said house.... which start with them yelling, THIS IS THE POLICE, IF ANYONE IS IN THERE, VACATE THE PREMESIS NOW! (Nice wake up call to the neighbors on a Saturday morning!) Then have one of the officers call you to tell you they see the tell tail sign of a break in in the downstairs office with papers all over and an empty computer desk... to which you get to sheepishly reply that the scene was actually complimentary of the aforementioned 22 month old, and that you don't actually have a regular computer to sit on said computer desk...

... follow these simple steps, and you, too could stage the 'perfect break-in' ... (and give your sleepy, quite neighborhood something to talk about for many moons to come!!).

12 comments:

Mahina said...

is your life ever boring??

sarah said...

awesome!

Jennifer said...

That is hilarious!

Julie said...

Did you plan this so you could have a great blog entry?

Walt & Eileen Petersen said...

This didn't really happen, did it?
Love, Mom

Steph said...

Unbelievable! Thanks for the laugh. :)

4kidsandcrazy said...

Jen, you are always good for a laugh! I love it! Sounds just like something I would do.

Robin Conner said...

That has to be the best and funniest thing I've read on a blog for quite some time now Jenn! That was just priceless! You need to use blurb.com and make yearly books of your blogs. They are really reasonably priced and they literally print a book from your blog! All your posts are "book worthy" !!! :)

winspears said...

Laughing my butt of right now...too funny!

mnjacksons said...

Jen that is hilarious! I can't believe I did not hear about this sooner! funny story! poor Kathleen!-he he. love ya

Jogusboy said...

That is so funny and ironic! When I saw the title I seriously thought someone broke into your house! Thanks for the laugh!

PS- I agree with Robin that your blog needs to be recorded on paper!

kevin said...

did they (the police) send you a bill for the false alarm? funny