This weeks calgon moment brought to you by...

... shirts, which were (unsuccessfully) flushed down the toilet (by a certain unnamed recently turned 3 year old...)
... plunger which (unsuccessfully) tried to get shirt to go down the toilet (manned by a certain unnamed recently turned 3 year old...)
... children, who upon screams of orders from mom to run and gather up towels, return with, "this is all we found, mom..." and hand over a couple of wash cloths
... towels, which (unsuccessfully) tried to mop up overflow from toilet before great gushes of water made its way down the crack in the doorway and seep into basement fire-alarm hole
... basement fire alarm, which upon getting wet, sets off ear-splitting shriek
... rest of house alarms, which like to play follow the leader and also set off ear splitting shrieks
... battery, which even though fire alarm has been yanked out of socked, still continues to power fire alarm-wetted shriek
... baby, who wants in on the action and crawls right into the scene

... and a mom who was frazzled already from a day of:

... up at crack of dawn to willingly submit to torture class (aka, cable class at the gym)
... loading all kids up on Joshy's maiden voyage out of the house in "big boy underwear"
... get to the gym, have joshy go potty (for which he gets buck naked. every time.)
... prepare for nutrition consult with someone who wants a 2 week menu of a diet that fits the following parameters:
 -- no white flour
 -- no sugar of any kind
 -- no sweets or junk food of any kind
    (the first and last I can handle, but absolutely no sugar??!  You try to find some recipes to meet that criteria for 2 weeks!)
... sit through 1/2 hour consult, which stretches into 1 hr and 15 minute consult
... return to kids gym and find that Joshy has again missed the potty mark
... reload clothes
... grab kids and run to friends for peach canning party (sorry we were late, Sarah!)
... got to friends house to realize that Joshy had yet again missed the potty mark (what, a whole 5 minutes in the car?!  Now that is some sort of talent!)
...taught friend mom's secret recipe for super yummy canned peaches with extra thick syrup (yes, it entails a LOT of sugar!!  ... and you wonder why I had a hard time finding sugar-less recipes??!)
... forgot to take over some supplies
... run back home, get supplies
... back to friends at 1:55, remember that I have to be across town to visit teach at 2:00.
... load up kids, run across town
... arrive late, stay late for the visit, (probably from spending time corralling all five kids and repeating, no you cannot lock her son out of his own room!) (Kalee, aren't you so excited for next months visit??!)
... staying late for first visit makes us late for the next visit
... spend most of next visit trying to keep Elizabeth from clutching the life out of their sweet dog and talk over her teridactal screams


So, if anybody needs me, I'll be
in the corner
in fetal position
rocking back and forth
mumbling incoherently...