and the quote of the week goes to...

Mr. 4 yo Ben, who came into the kitchen when dinner was cooking (BBQ spare ribs, nonetheless... ) and said, "mom, what smells in here?? Did baby have a poopy diaper??!"

... runner up came shortly thereafter by Seth, who when at the dinner table was informed that we were having ribs for dinner, said (in horror), "ribs from a HUMAN??!"

... which brought about the third place winner from dad who replied (without skipping a beat) "yep, this one's caleb's, this ones tommy's, this one's Cejay's..."

... needless to say, it wasn't one of our most cherished dinners...

(note to self: strike ribs from the (already too short and repetitious) menu for a Loooonnnnggg time...)

Deep Thoughts...

by overly emotional-sleep-deprived-not-quite-handling-all-the-chaos-mommy...

My latest book (probably not quite the best choice to read in my current state of mind...) is Viktor Frankls "Man's Search for Meaning." I have used his lessons in some of my presentations and have decided I need to actually read the book to get a better understanding when I bring him up in the presentations. I was not prepared for the emotional journey of this book...

First of all, just a tiny back story: He is a very renowned psychiatrist, who also happened to be a Jew in Austria in WWII (can you see where this is going?). He was taken, along with his entire family, to the concentration camps where he was the sole survivor of all of his loved ones.

I have always been fascinated by WWII, and by the Holocaust, reading many books on the topic (if you want some good 'historical fiction recommendations of this time period, I have some great ones for you!), but for some reason, this book has struck a cord that has made it difficult for me to plow through - I have to actually put it down at times to come to terms with the fact that these events actually occurred to him, personally.

For some reason, he was able to pull himself out of the subjective part of the whole ordeal and analyze different aspects of the experiences from a psychologically objective point of view, and then discusses these in context with any and all types of suffering which we go through in life.

Today one line really struck me - it was a time when he discovered the art of 'day-dreaming' about his wife. He could picture her and have conversations with her during his countless hours of brutal labor in horrific conditions. He made the statement when he first started picturing her... (I'll just quote the statement, I can't do it justice on my own...)

"A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth - that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire. Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human through and belief have to impart: The salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved."

... maybe it's the fact that we are coming up on 10 years of marriage, and I have been doing a lot of thinking about the past decade. We truly have been through a bunch (I can't say "it all," though it does feel like it... I know there are many people out there who would laugh as they tell me we have only just begun to 'go through it all'!!) - we have seen good, bad, and even some very ugly times together - yet somehow we seem to come through, still intact and still together after all of the ins and outs of this crazy ride called marriage.

...When it comes right down to it, all that really matters - all that truly endures, is love. Love for my husband and for my children is what truly inspires me each and every day. The thought of being separated from them in such horrible conditions as endured by Viktor Frankl actually makes me sick to my stomach to contemplate, and I have been more thankful then ever at this time that I have been so abundantly blessed with so many incredible souls with whom I get to share my life, and from whom I receive daily inspiration.

Who would have guessed that 10 years ago, as I was madly making last minute wedding plans, all that we would go through and experience during the following decade? Man, it has definitely been a wild ride... and there truly is no person that I would rather have by my side on this journey of life than my life love, Jerry. Thanks honey, for everything. I love you! You truly are my moment of bliss in the chaos and craziness! Happy (almost) 10 years!

Have you ever wondered...

What mickey mouse tastes like?? yea, me neither...

... but apparently my 2 year old has...

This morning when I turned on the oven and noticed an 'off' smell, I opened the door to find:

You would think I would have learned to 'check first, heat second' after our last incident of burned plastic smell (which, by the way, takes a looong time to go away, especially when you can't actually find the source of incinerated object, so you just have to wait until it melts away all together... ask me how I know this...).

Luckily I was standing right by the oven, so was able to rescue Mickey before he became too terribly toasted... (and started a fire!)... his singed tail was the only casualty of the morning.

What are the chances????...

... that your two year old will be just fine all day, then choke on a piece of candy and throw up just as you are dressing him to go to tithing settlement...

... then be just fine playing in the gym for the 45 minutes that you are waiting to get into the Bishop's office...

... and then, during the five minute interval that you are actually in the Bishops office for tithing settlement, will come and snuggle with you, only to throw up ALL OVER - getting himself, you, Benjamin, chair, and floor drenched in not-so-sweet smelling vomit - only missing baby Elizabeth thanks to mom's spidey-senses in lifting baby away from projectile stream (and sacrificing her jacket, shirt, and skirt to said stream...).

... and you leave the Bishops office (after apologizing profusely and trying to clean it up as best you can, knowing full well the smell is going to linger on through the entire rest of the night!), through a whole hallway full of people who are waiting from 2 different wards, with your half naked children (with the Bishop giving the rest of the people a warning, "see - they were a little short on tithing, so they had to give the shirt off their backs..").

... Seriously, what are the chances???

--- well, about the same as getting twins from clomid on your first go-around with pregnancy... :)

I stand all amazed...

... at my mothers ability to get ANYTHING other than laundry done... with 9 people to do laundry for...

And she got A LOT more than laundry done.

Wow. Mom, you are amazing.

Okay, I'm off to dive into yet more piles of laundry... hopefully my kids will find something to eat in the meantime... :0

When is a trip to the doctor not just a trip to the doctor??

... when you are 4 weeks post partum, sleep deprived, and emotionally wacked; taking your 4 and 2 year olds, along with new born to an eye appointment for 2 year old (yep, the same one who has now been to THREE dr. appointments in 3 weeks...)

Caution, Rant coming on - feel free to exit the blog at any time...

I woke up this morning (can you 'wake up' from a nursing-all-night-not-really-sleeping-session??) with a horrible head ache, only to have to load up the kiddos for a fun-filled eye appointment for Joshy (he was born with Dwayne's syndrome - where the nerves of his left eye didn't attach to the outer eye muscle, so his left eye doesn't go past midline. Not a big deal, doesn't affect his eyesight, and nothing will correct it, they just check it each year to keep tabs on it...).

-- appt at 9:00. Ben gymnastics at 10:00. I gave myself a 1 hour window - plenty of time, right? WRONG...

-- we got in to first room at 9:20 - get set up with the nurse. She takes us to different waiting room, where I discover that Elizabeth has had MAJOR poopy blowout, herself, her clothes, blanket, and carseat. (oh, and when I picked her up, on me as well...). Her new diaper, wipes, and extra clothes are up the stairs, out the door, and in the car. Great.

-- Right when I was holding her (with the other people in the room looking around with their "what is that smell??" looks) wondering what to do, we get called in again.

"Great!" I think - we should be outta hear pretty quick, then I can change her, get Ben to gymnastics, everything will work out, right? WRONG...

After another check, we get sent back to the waiting room. I make the mad dash (can you really call taking three kids along with you a mad dash??!) to get Elizabeth all cleaned up and changed, then back to the waiting room.

... Where we wait

and wait

and wait.

Then finally get called in to the Main doctor. Who happens to be one of the 'great experts' on Dwaynes Syndrome - which is a good thing because he has ZERO bedside manner. He spends all of 3 minutes with us (literally!!), then mumbles some things to himself about glasses and surgery, and says, "let's send you back to get dilated then come in again" So we go BACK to room #2 where they put drops in joshy's eyes (why the didn't do it the first time we were there, I have no idea!)... and the lady didn't understand why my 2 year old got so freaked out about getting drops in his eyes as she kept saying, "these don't hurt! it's just like bath water"

Then we get sent back to waiting room... and get put to the BACK of the patient pack.

So we wait

and wait

and wait

and Ben misses gymnastics (and I make the mistake of telling him this), so he starts wailing. And Joshy gets antsy, so he starts climbing on every piece of furniture in the room... and I let him... (hey, if they don't want him disturbing everything, then GET HIM CHECKED so we can leave!), and Elizabeth decides she has waited long enough to eat, so she starts wailing, and I remember that I have forgotten to bring the binki...

... so we finally get called in to expert-with-zero-people-skills Dr. where he does another super-speedy exam, telling his nurse (as opposed to telling the MOTHER of the patient!) that we will set him up with glasses, and schedule a surgery...

To which I have finally had enough and blurt out, "what are you talking about? Is his vision bad? Does he have to have surgery? What is going on??"

... and AS HE IS WALING OUT THE DOOR (he literally stood in the doorway as he explained things to me...) says, "we'll get him set up with glasses to see if we can correct the developing problem (never really says exactly what that problem is...), but most likely will have to schedule surgery in 6 weeks..." he did explain a bit more about the 'simple' surgery (is there such a thing as simple surgery with a toddler??!), but it all became mush to me and I didn't say anymore, simply because I could feel my throat close in and knew that if I opened my mouth again, the tears would start flowing. (add 2 year old in surgery to already hormonal body - what did you expect??!)

... so we go to yet ANOTHER room to start the glass fitting procedure, which is really a joke - seriously?? Any of you that know Joshy know what a joke it's going to be to try to get him to actually keep the glasses on for more than 3 seconds. Even 'fitting' him was a joke - the lady would put them on, he would tear them off.

Ben, on the other hand, decided that he did want glasses, so he started wailing again because HE wanted to try them on. Meanwhile I have not yet fed Elizabeth, so her cries are reaching a new height of despair. All of this among a room full of now-quite-annoyed people.

... We finally got the glasses ordered - (great - so now I just had to pay a crazy amount for glasses that my son is not going to wear, and which the the doctor said are most likely not going to work, so we are going to have to come back in 6 weeks and most likely schedule a surgery anyway??! Where is the logic in this again??).

... I finally got the whole zoo out to the car, and into our home, (almost 3 HOURS after we had left said house!!) where I sat in a chair and zoned.

... May we not set foot in another doctors office for a LOOOONG time!!!